Why I’m Writing a Blog

Several years ago, I wrote some blogs talking a lot about training, nutrition, and motivational strategies, on what is now our Vibe Tribe Fitness website. I went back and reread some of them and couldn’t help but laugh at my own evolution. There were very few posts that I actually still agreed with. Maybe it’s just because I’m older and have more life experience. Maybe it’s because I’ve gone through harder things than I did back then and it has given me some perspective on the realities of trying to maintain health (mental and physical) through the chaos. It could be a combination of all of that plus some. Regardless of why my viewpoints have changed, I felt compelled to start putting my thoughts out there again. 

When I first started writing my old blog, everything seemed so black and white to me. You want results? You just show up. You don’t like something about your life? Change it. Have a hard time with your diet? Just meal prep and track your food. What’s the big deal? Where’s the discipline? 

All of my content was built around those questions and while there are aspects to those things that hold some truth, we as humans are not black and white. We don’t just do and do not because we’re motivated or because we are lazy. We each have unique needs, stresses, struggles, and circumstances that prevent or hold us back from doing the things we know we should probably be doing.

A lot of the messaging out there is very much along the lines of, “f**k your feelings, work harder.” To be honest, I was kind of in line with that thinking for many years when I was younger. I don’t think living 100% in that state of mind is healthy in the long term because it starts by essentially telling yourself you’re a piece of shit and should just work harder. There is zero power in that. And as someone who has tried to bury a lot of feelings through immersing myself in nothing but the gym and toxic positivity (I will be writing another post all about this) it catches up with you big time. 

I now believe that there are times to push, and there are times to rest. There’s times you have to sacrifice and other times it makes more sense to hold back and recharge. The season of life, who you are, what your goals are, if you’re a competitor, and many more elements dictate the intensity to which you need to push yourself.

Competitive athletes know this well. They schedule and train differently in the off-season, pre-season, in-season, and post season because if they didn’t injury, burnout, and decreased performance would occur. As an athlete, I know this to be absolutely factual, so why have I been living life any differently? 

For me, constantly striving for more, always looking ahead, pedal to the metal, never being content with where I am makes me miss out on the awesome things I have accomplished. Sad? Work harder. Happy? Work harder. Discontent? Work harder. I kept running into the same feeling. I would set my sights on these big goals and then once I would achieve them, I wouldn’t even take a moment to appreciate and enjoy these accomplishments. It’s like my brain is always way ahead of my body, and then I’m frustrated when the inevitable burnout comes and takes me out of the game.

I think what really made me realize this limiting behavior of mine was when we finally got the gym up and running. Here I was, staring at something I had been envisioning for so long and all I could feel was the itch to run to the next goal. I’ve done the same thing with any performance based goal. I almost kill myself trying to achieve it, and then when I do, I’m mentally already onto the next one– completely missing the point of the process.

Living life that way from the outside looking in, seems like I’m some amazing person who is achieving all of these incredible things. And I think that’s the danger of it. It gives the illusion that there’s no struggle. As long as I’m an achiever, nothing is wrong. It’s wildly toxic in the long run, and leaves one feeling quite lonely at times.

It’s like a socially acceptable way to self medicate, and because of that, no one is going to stop, question, and ask if you’re ok. Achievement is like a high and the more you achieve, the more it takes to get the same feeling of achievement. Constantly striving for outside validation and completely ignoring my need for self love and self validation. I’ve reached this point where I look at my life and I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of and worked so hard for right in front of me, and all I’m doing is looking for the next achievement.

I realized I’ve lived my life for so long like I’m not good enough in this present moment and I’m always on a quest to find the place where I am good enough. So I guess this blog is a way for me to slow down. To reflect on all of the incredible things that have come my way over the years, the lessons I’ve learned, and the life changing conversations I’ve had with all the people I have had the pleasure to be around over the years.

I’m feeling like this is my time to pump the brakes, and make some sense out of my life experience and hard work so far. Through that, I hope to become a better all around human and coach. Life experience is our great teacher, and I feel like I have a lot of it that I really haven’t stopped and fully unpacked for the benefit of myself, let alone others.

I think past me would have used this platform as another way to move to the next thing. But this time it feels different. I feel like there are a lot of moments, missteps, and pitfalls that have happened over the last few years that have made me into a much different person. I want to use this blog as a way to find my voice, work through my experiences in a helpful way for both the reader and myself, and maybe by sharing these experiences I can help someone find their way through the human experience with a little more clarity.

The content for this blog is going to be a mixed bag depending on what’s on my mind during that time. Sure, there will be some fitness and nutrition content, but mostly I want to share stories in hopes of helping people establish their own healthy relationship with success; whatever that version of success looks like for you and your relationship with yourself. People will always come and go out of your life, but you will always have you. It’s important to make that the healthiest relationship of all.

So, allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Bergen Buck. I’m newly 30 years old. I have accomplished a lot in those short years, but I feel as though my success has outrun my mental ability to manage the responsibilities, expectations, and relationships my life requires from me. This blog is the physical representation of me slowing down and taking a minute to build a higher functioning internal space. My hope is that by sharing all of this with you, it will lead me to understanding myself more, and inturn, help you all a little along your journey. I’m looking forward to diving deeper. 

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Cheers,

B